About Suicide
FEELINGS, thoughts, and behaviors
Nearly everyone at some time in his or her life thinks about suicide. Most everyone decides to live because they come to realize that the crisis is temporary, but death is not. On the other hand, people in the midst of a crisis often perceive their dilemma as inescapable and feel an utter loss of control. Frequently, they:
- Can’t stop the pain
- Can’t think clearly
- Can’t make decisions
- Can’t see any way out
- Can’t sleep eat or work
- Can’t get out of the depression
- Can’t make the sadness go away
- Can’t see the possibility of change
- Can’t see themselves as worthwhile
- Can’t get someone’s attention
- Can’t seem to get control
These very real and very valid emotions imprison those who feel them, and hope and change can feel a million miles away. But if you have made it to this article and are trying to prevent yourself from taking your own life, then you are already closing the gap between you and the hope that has been eluding you. It may take many steps but put in the work- because YOU are worth it. For immediate help in navigating suicidal thoughts call 988, and for further future help, reach out to one of the mental health professionals below.
WHO CAN YOU TALK TO?
A community mental health agency. A private therapist. A school counselor or psychologist. A family physician. A suicide prevention/crisis intervention center (988). A religious/spiritual leader. All of these people can be incredibly helpful to reach out to and begin the cycles of healing.
Whether you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, a loved one is experiencing them, or you have lost someone to suicide, it can be incredibly helpful to reach out to a professional that can help guide you to a safer head space.
THE WARNING SIGNS
For those of you coming to this site because you are afraid someone you know is thinking about suicide, here are some of the warning signs, please talk to your person about this. Even if it is uncomfortable, feelings of anger or deep pain come up in the conversation, they will at least know that they are seen, and you have started the conversation.
The following behavioral patterns may indicate possible risk for suicide and should be watched closely. If they appear numerous or severe, seek professional help at once. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 provides access to trained telephone counselors, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
- Talking about suicide, death, and/or no reason to live
- Preoccupation with death and dying
- Withdrawal from friends and/or social activities
- Experience of a recent severe loss (especially a relationship) or the threat of a significant loss
- Experience or fear of a situation of humiliation of failure
- Drastic changes in behavior
- Loss of interest in hobbies, work, school, etc.
- Preparation for death by making out a will (unexpectedly) and final arrangements
- Giving away prized possessions
- Previous history of suicide attempts, as well as violence and/or hostility
- Unnecessary risks; reckless and/or impulsive behavior
- Loss of interest in personal appearance
- Increased use of alcohol and/or drugs
- General hopelessness
- Recent experience humiliation or failure
- Unwillingness to connect with potential helpers
Suicide and what leads up to it feels hopeless for all those involved and impacted by it. But there are steps we can take to help us heal and avoid this tragedy. Often times we are taught that suicide is an unavoidable tragedy that no one can do anything about, but there are things in our power that we can do to help ourselves and others steer away from suicide.
WHAT can you do as a loved one?
- Be aware. Learn the warning signs.
- Get involved. Become available. Show interest and support.
- Ask if s/he is thinking about suicide.
- Be direct. Talk openly and freely about suicide.
- Be willing to listen. Allow for expressions of feelings and accept those feelings.
- Be non-judgmental. Don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or feelings are good or bad. Don’t lecture the value of life.
- Don’t dare him/her to do it.
- Don’t give advice by making decisions for someone else to tell them to behave differently.
- Don’t ask “why.” This encourages defensiveness.
- Offer empathy, not sympathy.
- Don’t act shocked. This creates distance.
- Don’t be sworn to secrecy. Seek support.
- Offer hope that alternatives are available, do not offer glib reassurance; it only proves you don’t understand.
- Take action. Remove means. Get help from individuals or agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention. Click here to find crisis resources.